House, Patient
by Orangey10
Summary: SPOILERS: We last left House checking himself into a mental hospital - but is there any psychologist out there who can cure his hallucinations - or match his wits?


_My name is Dr. Gregory House, M.D._

_I work as the Head of Diagnostic Medicine at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. As part of my job I manage a team of three junior doctors, who assist me in my cases. _

_My direct superior is the Dean of Medicine at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, Dr. Lisa Cuddy, M.D. She holds direct responsibility for the management of the hospital, me included. She often turns out to be the person who gives me my cases and, often, clinic hours._

_She often annoys me, as----_

"Because she can't make the little people disappear? Dr. House, we've been through this. You've admitted yourself that you suffer from hallucinations, or full-blown delusions. Not sudden 'little people' appearances."

"Hallucinations? Oh my god, I'm insane!" House retorted, complete with a dramatic swoon.

The doctor wiped a bead of sweat off his brow.

"You're making my job very difficult, you know."

"Yeah, I know," He said nonchalantly, leaning back in his chair. "Hey, isn't it candy-time now?"

The doctor ignored him. "You've been moved from institution to institution, starting from Mayfield Psychiatric outside Philadelphia. What do you think made them decide to move you?"

"It is hard to diagnose someone not terminally insane, dontcha think?" House's look turned more and more stony as the Vicodin withdrawal started to take its toll.

"Word for word," the doctor coldly replied. "Except, I, just like almost every other professional psychiatrist out there think you're hiding something. Something big."

House pursed his lips. "Why do you think that?" As he spoke, the bell for lunch rang throughout the building.

"Well," the doctor stood up. "Everybody lies, right?"

House scowled.

* * *

"They're just going to put me in another dump like this if I carry on." House muttered to himself.

"Not necessarily," Amber leaned into him. "Keep up the act for long enough and you'll go home. And do all the things you want to do again."

"What if…it's all not…" House stumbled over his words, whispering while staring across the lunch table.

"Everybody lies. But how can you lie to yourself? That's illogical." Amber purred, smirking as she did so. House scowled.

"Woah, what the hell?!" a woman shouted with her mouth full, double-taking as House seemingly scowled at her. "What've I done now?"

House double-taked as he realised that he was scowling at his current lunch companion. The woman swallowed her food, while looking intently at her companion.

She ran a hand through her messy ginger hair as she asked, "So what did Dr Bighead want now, huh?"

House frowned. "Answers. Who wants to know?"

She glared at him. "_Just_ curious..." House paused for a moment.

"You're an idiot."

"You're crazy."

"You're crazy too."

"Oh, I'm normal inside my head. How about you?" she pushed her food away. The bell rang, signifying the end of lunch.

"She's an idiot – she doesn't know who she's dealing with, does she?" Amber coldly said as the woman shuffled out the door.

* * *

"Where the hell is she? She checked in at 7 in the morning and it's 1 now, and she still hasn't turned up! What does that mean?!" A stout man shouted at the receptionist.

"Her, her attendance record is satisfactory, I can't think where she might be..." the receptionist stuttered.

"Find her!" the man shouted as he turned and almost walked into his target. "Dr Morgan!"

The black-haired woman looked up. "Nyes?"

"Where the hell have you been?" he swivelled her shoulders in the direction of his office.

"I have been in the staff lunch hall for the last half an hour. After that I had to meet up with an employee of mine who I have told to monitor the patient."

Her boss sighed. "When we tell you to not care about the patient enough to let it affect you personally, we didn't mean employing another person in your stead to do all the monitoring. You know that."

"Yet I thought it was the best course of action, therefore I carried it out." Dr Morgan looked up to her tall employer as she folded her arms, an indication of stubbornness.

"Go to your patient."

"Brennan saw him."

"He didn't get anything conclusive."

"...So you need me?" she raised her eyebrows.

"Do your job." He spat. Morgan sighed.

"Okay." She went outside the door, leant back to collect some files, and trotted off to an isolation room.

* * *

The door swung open as a young woman walked in and threw her files on the table as House narrowly took his hands off it.

"Ever heard of knocking?" his volume increased.

"The word, yes. The notion, no."

"What…do you want?" House asked.

"Dr Brennan wanted me to give you this." As she sat herself down, she wafted a plastic cup with a single Vicodin tablet inside in front of him. House swiped for the cup and downed the contents in one gulp.

"Okay, I'm asking every patient admitted here what they think of their respective doctors – I report back to the boss, but anonymity is respected, so you can say whatever you want...(here she opened her file) Dr. House." She smiled.

"He was an idiot." Morgan's eyes twinkled.

"I see. Would you mind telling me in what way?" House squinted.

"He didn't make the little people go away." His voice quavered in a mock whisper.

"Are…you saying that he's an incompetent psychologist?"

"You have to stoop as low as getting another employee to act as another patient to spy on me?" House interrupted. His companion stopped while writing and glanced at him.

"I know her very well." she read over what she had written, folded the piece of paper and put it into her jeans pocket. House narrowed his eyes.

"You're English. She was American."

"Yes and no," she replied. "I'm both."

House fell silent as she offered her hand to shake. "Dr Ana Morgan, M.D. I'm your new shrink." He smirked.

"Tell your boss that there's no point in assigning a new one after the old one gets tired of me – I'm not insane. I can check myself out at anytime."

"Yeah, sure."

**A/N: R&R please - more will come soon!**


End file.
